


I Really Love Strawberries

by Baudelaires_Dark_Angel



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Character Death, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:35:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baudelaires_Dark_Angel/pseuds/Baudelaires_Dark_Angel
Summary: In this world, everybody is born with blue hair, and one's hair turns reddish when they find their loved one. However, if your loved one dies, your hair turns black so did Seonghwa's when Yeosang died. He was used to it by now, but the more he hung out with his best friend Hongjoong and his new-found lover, the more he regretted Yeosang. But little by little, he learned to live alone: so goes life.Or that's what he thought in the beginning...
Relationships: Jeong Yunho & Kim Hongjoong, Jeong Yunho/Kim Hongjoong, Kang Yeosang & Park Seonghwa, Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong & Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

The whiskey bottle was getting lighter and lighter with each passing minute.

But Seonghwa didn't mind one bit, way too drawn in his own sorrow to realize what was happening outside his bubble — not even realizing that the man on his left has been drinking with him for at least half an hour now.

Next to him, Hongjoong was drinking silently, not letting his friend alone even if he knew all too well that the latter wasn't aware of his presence.

Seonghwa was obviously drinking his pain away, and as the good friend that he is, Hongjoong couldn't imagine letting him alone on a day like this one.

He sided eyed him again and took another look at his whole demeanor.

From his messy hair to his bright red eyes, the suit he wore 48 hours in a row, the dullness of his gaze: he looked horrible from afar - and Hongjoong swore he could smell the alcohol from where he was seated.

The last few days he'd passed were even worse.

_They were both at work when Seonghwa got a call, telling him that his fiancé was in a hospital between life and death. Only when he climbed the stairs to reach the HR department so that they could leave together, he eavesdropped that the latter had left in a rush about half an hour ago._

_He went immediately to Jackson's cubicle: if someone knew what was happening it would be him since they were in the same team and his cubicle was just across Seonghwa's one._

_It didn't take long for him to leave the building either, minutes later he was in his car driving at the limit speed to reach the address Jackson had given him._

_The time for him to arrive at the hospital seemed so long, yet 15 minutes later he was already parking his car. Another 10 minutes, and he was jogging toward a waiting Seonghwa; head hung low hands joined in front of him._

_Any nurse passing by would have already seen this heartbreaking scene, the one of someone praying with all his will that the person getting surgery at the moment would be alright._

_He tried recovering his breath a bit before silently sitting next to him, he lifted his hand slowly hesitating whether or not he should try to comfort him, but decided not to; ruffling his hair instead._

_They both stayed put for another 7 hours - Hongjoong slightly dozing off, since it was around 2 AM by now - when a doctor appeared out of the door._

_"Are you Kang Yeosang's relatives ?" Seonghwa jumped to his feet nodding firmly with red tired eyes._

_"We were in the middle of the surgery but it got some complications, we couldn't finish properly and we had to put him in an induced coma. We should try and get the surgery done by tomorrow to be sure that he would be safe, but it would be a really dangerous surgery with less than a 10% chance for him to survive with his current injuries..."_

_Seonghwa felt like collapsing, his head was pounding, legs like jelly trying the best that he could to understand what exactly the doctor was telling him._

_"But there is a chance he survives without the surgery, right? Hongjoong asked from behind the older."_

_" I am afraid it won't work, even if he woke up, the remaining pieces of the bullets are way too close to his heart, we have to get them off. The man sighed looking at them with tired eyes. Also, we need your approval to go along with the surgery in a couple of hours..."_

He gulped at his beer again, looking away from his dark locks.

He stayed with him, following him from afar the whole ride to get here from the hospital. He could only recall what he'd learn years ago at school :

" The worst for someone whose hair turned dark was to stay alone." He would never let anyone alone by his principle and Seonghwa was no exception. The older will not be alone tonight: not on his watch.

He glanced at the older man when his head landed on the counter, and as if the barman had understood the situation too, he just nodded to help Hongjoong get Seonghwa in his car: time to get home.

On their drive to the older home, for a moment, Hongjoong hesitated to let him alone. They always learned what to do on those days, but he wasn't really sure to what extent "You shall never let a newly dark-haired person be alone" was exactly actually referencing to.

Well, they've been friends for only a few months now and even if it felt like they were meant to be friends, it was his first time in Seonghwa's apartment - even if the latter already came to his house.

He sighed again before turning off the engine, deciding that it was better if he stayed. He didn't know what to expect, but he wouldn't let him down tonight.

He side-eyed the older and decided that he'd rather stay with him for the rest of the night.

He turned off the engine and exited the car, making a turn to take the older with him. After a few minutes, he realized that he was just wasted.

A big exhalation escaped his mouth, while he was trying his best to extract the older out of the car, without giving him too many bruises.

Not long after, they were in the doorway and Hongjoong was basically pocketing him to try and find his key; still panting heavily from climbing the stairs with him on his back - who lived on the 3rd floor without an elevator anyway.

When he accomplished his tasks he carefully opened the door and lifted Seonghwa one last time to take him inside; quicking the door with his foot after they both got inside.

Hongjoong could finally breathe correctly when he plopped on the sofa; he sided the bedroom where a sleeping Seonghwa was laying - somehow straight - unconsciously on his bed.

After checking; or more like swiping off; all of his notifications on his phone he laid there not minding the cold air nor his clothes or shoes, drifting to dreamland as soon as his eyes closed.

∞

Out of habit, Seonghwa woke up in the early morning groaning because of the ache pounding into both his head and chest. It didn't take long for the memories of the previous night to come again.

He quickly expired a sharp breath, stopping the tears already forming at the corner of his eyes. He will have a mental breakdown sure, but not now, he needs to shower first.

Only then he stopped in his tracks. He wasn't alone, he could hear noise coming from the living room! Rushing to the door he opened it not so softly; revealing a grunting Hongjoong on the floor in front of the sofa.

The scene alone manages to make him lift the corner of his lips in an empty smile. He passed next to the other male, ignoring him on the floor, deciding to get breakfast done for both of us, as a thank you instead - he could take that shower later.

He kind of felt a bit guilty toward Hongjoong every time the words couldn't manage to get out of his mouth, but the latter would understand anyway, he thought.

He knew Seonghwa wasn't the type to be expressive verbally about these types of things. While on the other hand, the blue-haired male was the opposite - always talkative and expressive about his feelings.

The embodiment of a social butterfly; he was always surprised to see him hold - people hostage - a conversation on his own, or express without filter all that was on his mind.

He was almost over when he heard a set of bones crack and a slight whine, he decided to look over his shoulder. Spotting the other getting up not so swiftly joining him in the open kitchen seating on the nearest chair he could find - tired or not, his only thought was to not let the older one alone.

" Up?"

Judging by the sound that escaped Hongjoong's mouth he thought that he was somehow conscious enough to have breakfast. He slid the plate in front of the later - who pushed it aside, letting his head fall on the table instead.

Seonghwa just rolled his eyes, knocking softly on the wood forbidding him to drool on the material.

" Wake up! And don't sleep on my table sleepyhead."

" You're really mean, uhg? Is this how you treat the kind soul that helped you last nig- " Hongjoong stopped when he looked over at Seonghwa, smacking himself mentally him and his silly tongue.

"Well, what I wanted to say is that I deserve at least to sleep a bit when I'm hungover - not on the table though." From the corner of his eyes, he could see Seonghwa fisting the towel in a tensed grip. He got up complaining about wanting to pee and made his way to what he guessed was the bathroom, giving his friend some space.

"God Kim Hongjoong watch your mouth! '' he thought before washing his face and clearing his mind the best that he could, "Easier said than done when your head is hurting like crazy." He breathed out looking at his reflection in the mirror.

Seonghwa starred in the void before him and took several deep breaths. Hongjoong was still at his place and he couldn't possibly face reality now.

Gazing at the ceiling in an attempt to get away with his emotions, he sighs again before turning back to the table where he dropped his own plate, forcing the food inside his mouth.

Not long after the blue-haired male appeared in the seat across from his own and both ate without much more talking.

" Want me to stay?"

Seonghwa lifted an eyebrow, not sure to understand the crystal-clear question Hongjoong just asked him, indulging a response from him.

" Last night I was actually nervous about staying at your place since I've never really come before and I just took on me to stay the night, but maybe you'll be more comfortable for you to stay alone? "

Hongjoong faced with a long silence started to stutter out the following words: " Not that I don't want to stay with you or anything I just don't want to invade your privacy or anything... like, I would totally stay if you have spare clothes, and since it's the holiday I don't really have any plans... or may-"

" I get it; it's okay, I can stay on my own." Seonghwa cut him, lips curving into a found smile - yet not reaching his eyes - saving him from embarrassing himself more than necessary.

Hongjoong looked into Seonghwa's eyes and the older could read all of his concerns, and he wasn't the type to make those types of mistakes anyway.

He just...

He needed to be alone, that's all.

He could go through it alone.

∞

Days after the accident, Yeosang's family and friends all gathered at the cemetery to bid him their last farewell.

This also included Hongjoong who surprisingly received a text from his friend with the location and time. The weather was unexpectedly good since they announced rain in the news this morning.

And while exiting the bus, Hongjoong couldn't stop his mind from thinking about that old saying his mother used to say anytime it was a sunny funeral.

" You know why it never rains when angels get back to the sky? It's because their friends up there are happy to see them coming back to heaven. " He smiled at himself faintly as he made his way to where the Kangs were standing.

Obviously, Hongjoong came to support his friend but he also came to bid Yeosang's farewell as well. Even though they didn't spend much time together he still talked to him a few times, when the three of them ate dinner together or when he sometimes came to pick up Seonghwa.

It wasn't anything fancy, more like the opposite, the family including the deceased weren't religious at all, per se they just stood by the coffin and waited for everyone to say their last words.

By Hongjoong's side, Seonghwa was a bit shaky but his face was unreadable, he waited for Yeosang's niece to walk past him before walking slowly where the casket was laying on the grass. With a heavy inspiration, he took the flower he was holding in his hand since the beginning and kissed it sorrowfully.

Silently he placed it on top of the coffin and watched it. Standing bolt upright, he stayed for around 10 minutes staring at the wood, as if he could see him behind it. The family herself wouldn't dare to interrupt his thoughts.

After a sole tear made her way down his face he turned around and took his place back next to Hongjoong. The blue-haired male gently squeezed his hand, rubbing circles on it with his thumb until the older squeezed it back.

And then they let go.

Not long after, the coffin was going down in the hole before them and without waiting for more Seonghwa turned his back to the scene walking away. 

Hongjoong quickly excused both of them with a bow and followed after him.

∞

The flushing sound echoed on the walls, vanishing in the background as Seonghwa dragged his body out of the bathroom. He had exited the exact same room for the 5th time today but that he didn't know.

The black-haired male had not a single clue at what day it was, what hour it was, not even sure since when he ate for the last time. He could only feel his head and stomach hurting, but even those felt foreign. Anyone that looked at him now would be horrified by the sight but he couldn't care less.

Blank stare piercing through the void, emotionless his limped body didn't go farther than the carpet of his living room. He didn't dare to look at the top of the coffee table - where laid several bottles of beverage and a letter.

A letter with a ring.

A letter from Yeosang.

Tears had run down his face, his sobs soon had become uncontrollable. Heart beating painfully and hurting so bad he thought he would pass out the instant he recognized the hand-writing.

He had wondered who the hell would send him a letter, upon reaching the unusual nicely decorated package on the dining table - Hongjoong had taken the time to do all of this before leaving.

But since he opened it, realization had given him a blow he wasn't prepared to take. One that hit him hard. Oh so hard, he thought he was reviving Yeosang's death again. The worst feeling he ever went through came another time and stronger and he couldn't bear it.

So he flew.

He looked out for every single bottle of alcohol he could find, would it be rum, beer, champagne, or wine, as long as he could numb the pain, it was okay. As long as he could stop the knife that sank in his chest, it was okay.

And for some time it worked he couldn't feel anything, he was unconscious. Even when he woke up it was okay, the pain from his head pounding and his stomach burning numbed his heart too.

He'd rather suffer from that than the loss of his soulmate.

His soulmate that died in that stupid car accident, his soulmate which he loved with all he got, his soulmate he was so glad to find early, the same one that was salty around others but shy with him and him only.

Silent tears rolled down his eyes and he wasn't even aware, still gazing at the void, all he could think of was Yeosang. In this house where nothing could be seen - it was way too dark - and nothing could be heard. The male looked miserable, alive but with no trace of life.

Empty, like the bottles at his feet and on the coffee table.

∞

" You again ?"

" This beer again? "

Seonghwa averted his eyes and stumbled backward, letting the door open for Hongjoong allowing him to come inside. It's been almost a week since the funerals and also a week since Hongjoong kind of moved into Seonghwa's apartment.

Every night after work he goes to his house, deciding on not letting him fall into the negativity of losing his soulmate.

Another thing about losing one's soulmate was that the side effects were dangerous, it went farther than just having black hair. He never felt such sensations himself but he learned that the closest feeling to that was depression - but heavier.

The older looked really out of it, to say the least. Seonghwa wasn't even bothering about clothes, all he got on was tank top and boxer shorts. The multiple empty cans were displayed on the glass table and more trash here and there was scattered in the room.

The worst was his eyes, they looked emptier than the whisky bottle lying on the floor.

Hongjoong breathed in deeply, and started to do some clean around the place, Seonghwa said nothing, chunking the liquor from time to time, eyes crimson red staring at the carpet.

He's seen the older like this a few times before and there was nothing he could do, Hongjoong rather saw him crying all day than this: since day one he's been drinking until he passed out.

He would get up eventually and passed out again, all this process repeating himself with the same empty eyes. It's been the same since he fled from the cemetery. But the more day passes the more worried Hongjoong gets.

When he had finished cleaning the living room, he went to the kitchen to get the soup he brought with him warmed up. He's been doing the same, always bringing the same soup from this place behind their work.

He quickly understood that it was the only thing Seonghwa ate by now and he tried bringing a new side dish anytime he could so that he wouldn't lack too much. He couldn't just only live on soup for the rest of his life.

Minutes later he gently pressed Seonghwa's hand and motioned him the soup in front of him, and Seonghwa would deny him at first but then another squeeze with pleading eyes, would make him start eating.

They always ate in silence and today wasn't any different. He looked it up online on some forums on how to handle newly black-haired people and discovered that the most effective way for them to get better is to not stay isolated.

Of course, everyone is different, and even if Seonghwa himself told him multiple times that he'd rather be alone: he always left the door open for him. That's how he understood that what he did wasn't useless for the latter. 

Even if he wasn't aware himself.

When they both finished, he got everything clean again.

" Are you going to keep living like this?"

He sat down in front of the older man. He lifted the can of beer but instantly Hongjoong stopped him from doing so by putting his hand on top of it.

" Leave me alone." He added breathlessly, still gazing blankly in front of him.

" We both know that you shouldn't be alone. Common' you can't be like this." Finally, Seonghwa lifted his gaze from the carpet and looked at him.

Now after a week of getting ignored, he could finally really see him.

" Then how am I supposed to be? He died Hongjoong! My other half died, just how the hell am I supposed to be when I lost the most important thing for me on Earth, I don't even know if I should still be alive by now, I d-"

Hongjoong stopped him on his track, with his hand gently landing on his nape to make him look into his eyes, his other hand squeezing Seonghwa one tightly.

" Hey, hey look at me."

The black-haired male did as he was told and looked into his eyes again like a lost puppy, it made Hongjoong's heart swell, still unused to seeing this part of his friend.

" You are supposed to be alive, not only alive, you should be living." He dropped his head trying to avoid Hongjoong's gaze again. " Think about it the other way around, you were his soulmate, the one who knew him better than anyone. How would you feel if you died and Yeosang would want to kill himself."

The shorter continued, in another attempt to make the latter realize that he couldn't keep going like this.

" I know, I know, I KNOW ALL OF THIS !"

He erupted, breaking free from Hongjoong's grip, he crunched further into himself. Hands flying to each side of his head, he mumbled softly the younger wasn't sure the words were directed at him.

" But it's just too hard, it's so hard..."

As a tear appeared on his cheeks, the blue-haired male didn't think twice and directly embraced him in a warm hug. On the other hand, Seonghwa couldn't hold his tears anymore breaking down on the younger male's petite body.

For the first time after the funerals he cried, and he cried hard. To the point, he soaked both his and Hongjoong's shirt. 

**Bawling, shrieking in pain and screaming to the void while the younger rubbed his back until he fell asleep in his arms.**


	2. Chapter 2

The day after, Hongjoong was facing the door, breathing in deeply before ringing the bell of the older's Appartement. Seonghwa came to open the door, avoiding his gaze and going inside, sitting on his usual spot on the carpet - to be honest, the blue-haired male wasn't any better.

Seonghwa too looked less intoxicated. And it sparked a bit of hope for him. The shorter also felt a bit relieved when he noticed that the number of empty bottles seemed to be decreasing. Not really sure if it was an aftereffect of last night or not. But, it sure was better than no change at all.

Today he brought the simplest things, two cups of ramen and some kimchi he quickly bought at the grocery store: he had a rough day - a really rough day.

Upon putting the water to boil, he turned around. He was delighted to hear some music instead of the oppressing silence he hadn't realized yet because of his Airpods, but when he took it off, he actually heard something coming from the living room. He could now be reassured that today was a lot better than yesterday.

Of course, it wasn't a sudden change - nor would he compliment the song's choice: kind of a depressing one - but the older seemed to live instead of being alive right now, so he just listened to the song with him.

It's been a bit more than a week now since Yeosang was resting under the ground, and it sure felt long for both of them, but yeah... Yesterday really changed something in Seonghwa, and it could only make Hongjoong smile.

He plopped on the couch just above the black-haired and stared at the void just like him. He had a lot on his mind, too, and couldn't take a single break between his friend and work.

Hazardously, both sighed at the same time, and Hongjoong chuckled at the unexpected mimic. At the same time, he smelled the ramens and decided they boiled enough. Making his way to the kitchen, he glanced again at Seonghwa from behind. He couldn't help himself being a bit uneasy.

He turned off the heater and carefully lifted the pot, placing it above a hand towel on the coffee table. He rose again to get sets of bowls and chopsticks. He dropped one in front of Seonghwa and kept the other for himself. He smiled a bit when the older reached for the plate on his own.

Something as simple as that nearly seemed foreign for Hongjoong. The past days he only remembered the latter being in some kind of trance all the time, and he would have to get it out of his reverie - for every single thing. But now that he was stepping out of it on his own, it felt like he was finally moving forward.

For now, even if Seonghwa wasn't speaking to him yet, he could at least manage to get some hums as an answer when he told him about his day.

That night instead of cries, his rambling was supported by the soft music that echoed through the wall of Seonghwa's apartment, and Hongjoong liked it better that way.

∞

Hongjoong didn't hear the knock on his office concentrated on his sketch with earphones plugged on both ears. It was only when a hand appeared just in front of his eyes that he jumped backward, surprised by the sudden appearance.

He took out the left plug and glared at the demon who dared to make his heart skip multiple beats like this. He snorted in front of a very amused Hyuk, who struggled not to burst into laughter in front of the angry cat.

"What brings you here?" He said, getting up to sit on the chair next to the latter.

"This is about Seonghwa; I know you keep in contact with him." Hongjoong sighed, already aware that this conversation would happen at some point. At least he was relieved to be talking about this with the friendly co-worker instead of Seonghwa's manager.

"He isn't dead if it's what you're wondering. I wish I could tell you that he is alright, but it still isn't the case either." The shorter male stared at the void for a moment before continuing. "However, he's been making progress recently. I think he finally accepted the fact that he'll have to move on; now I just hope it will only get better from now on."

Hyuk's expression darkened a bit, sad that his friend had to go through this kind of event this early in life. It was so unpredictable; he himself was still blue-haired, not even sure this color would ever change; on the other hand, Seonghwa was blue-haired, then became pink-haired and was already black-haired.

If he still didn't meet Yeosang, he might have stayed blue-haired all his life, but at least he wouldn't have to suffer the pain he is going through right at the moment they were talking.

Both males were silent in the office room, deep in thought and concerned about their friend's sorrow.

"Do you have any idea how long it could take from now to his return? Don't answer if you don't want to. I'm just obligated to ask because of that heartless manager anyway." Hands tensed, the taller felt bad for asking about something so insensitive, but he didn't come here totally on his own either.

" I wish I knew, I've indeed been going to his house almost every day now since the accident, and there were days worse than others." Chills crept on his skin when the memory of Seonghwa's inert body flashed behind his eyelids. " But as I said recently, he started to move forward on his own, and I think it's only a matter of days before he comes back fully to his senses."

Or at least he wished. He deeply wanted his friend to be able to move on right now. He had a tough time seeing his friend's self-destructive behavior the past few days, the worse being the first days, but now he wanted to be hopeful about his recovery.

"Thanks for letting me know; I won't bother you longer than that." He lifted himself from the chair. A faint smile and a wave later, and he disappeared behind the door, closing it quietly.

The shorter one took a short inspiration and got back to work, trying to focus and not think about how he would find Seonghwa in the living room today.

∞

Seonghwa woke up, frowning because of the warm afternoon light that struck upon his face. He groaned while placing the pillow on top of his head. But despite being eager to go back to sleep, he decided otherwise: right now. 

He had to get ready to go outside.

It was Hongjoong's idea; it had been around two weeks since he accepted the fact that Yeosang actually died, thus two weeks since he didn't leave his house. His friend wanted him to go outside after being locked for so long - and deep down, he knew he was right too.

The black-haired male took out his phone to do a simple check - even this little action felt foreign to him, way too busy with drinking to care about the outside world. Eventually, it wasn't the first time he looked at it, and thankfully, there wasn't too much that pilled up this week.

It was so common for their world when people got over sensitive after the death of their soulmate that it became kind of an unspoken rule among everyone: "He mustn't be pushed too hard, poor thing," "We should be careful, look he/she has black hair," "Hey, watch out, they are black-haired."

He quickly answered Hongjoong's message about the food he wanted to eat that day and got up. He walked to the bathroom, palm rubbing circles on his eyes. He eyed the phone a second time and huffed at Hongjoong's response.

He avoided looking at the mirror when he entered the room and just got ready to - open the brackets -: "Go outside, see some grass and get some fresh air because he can't stay here all his life he'll get sadder and sadder," end of quote.

He left the room with a simple pairing of black jeans and a plain black sweater. For some reason, he felt like the color black reflecting in his hair wasn't enough to express all his sorrow to the outside world.

His thoughts were all over the place again this morning, maybe because he knew that when he got out, he wouldn't be able to see Yeosang. The thought of all of this being reality hit him once again, and he thought that wearing something bright would mean that everything is okay while it's not.

He thought that if he wore bright colors, no one would know that he lost his soulmate, no one would know that Yeosang was once his own world, the person he cherished the most, and that he would never be able to see again.

Nonsense, right? A complete mess indeed, but he couldn't stop these thoughts. And with them, memories of Yeosang appeared too. Just like that, he felt overwhelmed again. 

He didn't want to cry. 

He tried so hard not to cry. 

However, his heart was stronger than his brain: sinking deeper and deeper into more negative thinking.

Until something warm pressed on his temples above his own hands, he jumped, taken aback by the contact. Eyes wide open, looking at a smiley Hongjoong. He sucked in a breath, realizing how long he must have been here and that it was the shorter's hands on his own. He sighed before letting them down on his lap, and the latter did the same.

"Hey, I sent you a text when I got here, but you didn't answer, so I came in anyway. I'll take the keys, and I will be waiting in the car. Take your time to come." The blue-haired boy got up from his knees and took back his basket and the car keys before exiting the apartment.

Sometimes Seonghwa forgot that he gave Hongjoong the passcode after the day he nearly had an alcoholic coma on his carpet. Definitely, some choice he had already regretted before, but he was thankful now.

He tried the best that he could to breathe deeply, finding courage here and there not to collapse on the floor.

Finally getting up to join the younger.

∞

Hongjoong parked the car in an unexpected place. When the shorter suggested that he had to go outside, his brain instantly assumed that he would have brought him to some crowded places or everyday life ones.

He had already braced himself to confront people's look on his hair. Even going as far as imagining what people would say when they'll see dark hair on such a young person. He could already picture their pitying stares and even whispers.

But who could he blame? He was the same.

He still remembered how he was when he was a young boy. He had a grand interest in people's hair color: the essence of their everyday life that most of his classmates found boring. He might have been the only one posing questions and actually listening to the lesson of Ms. Song.

To put it simply, only four hair colors were important: blue, pink, black, and half-pink half-blue. He remembers finding this particularity even more fascinating when he sometimes read fantastic books, with people having different hair colors, not at all related to their soulmate.

"I thought that maybe you wouldn't want anything noisy, so I hope you like it," Hongjoong said hesitantly, taking out the older from his thoughts.

He brought them on a rooftop.

He wasn't familiar with the place, but it didn't take long for Hongjoong to explain to him that it actually belonged to one of his hunts. Unfortunately, she lived a bit far from them, but it was the only thing Hongjoong could think about.

Seonghwa smiled at him, grateful that he chose this kind of place. He was a bit skeptical when they arrived in the neighborhood, but he felt at ease right now.

The shorter quickly placed a tablecloth on the single wooden table at the center of the rooftop. At the same time, Seonghwa had a look around, contemplating the various plants here and there and looking at the beautiful view they got from where they were standing.

"Seonghwa, I made some Tteokbokki at home. We should eat it before it gets cold!" HJ was still unpacking, and if he noticed one thing, there were only non-alcoholic beverages on the table, and somehow he wanted to scream while being thankful at the younger.

"You made ?" Doubtfulness could be heard over Seonghwa's tone, and the single lifted eyebrow only added to the plate.

"Okay, I bought it! Happy? Now let's eat. I'm hungry!" He retorted with an adorable pout placing the last dish a bit more roughly on the table than necessary. The whole scene made the black-haired male chuckle lowly while making his way to the latter. 

∞

"So you're getting back to work tomorrow, right ?" They both nodded back at the waiter, and the blue-haired male held the older’s gaze before he averted his eyes, mumbling an answer.

"Yeah, I guess so" Seonghwa sipped again on his chocolate absentmindedly while Hongjoong did the same with his coffee.

"You're gonna be alright? I know we've been out already - I mean, we're at a cafe right now - but I'm still worried. I heard it can be overwhelming; meeting with people that you know, since they’ll most likely baby you and try to know everything about the process you know..." He looked across the table and saw the almost imperceptible tense on the latter hands. 

The black-haired male didn't answer for a while and ended up shrugging slightly. He wasn’t particularly fond of going back to work either, but he was doing well enough to go back, and he couldn’t necessarily afford to extend his break anymore longer. "I'll have to go at one point or another; I'll take care of that later."

Hongjoong seemed a bit skeptical but didn't say anything else. His phone vibrated on the table, and both of them turned their gaze toward the device. When Seonghwa noticed from which app the pop-up was, he smirked, and Hongjoong quickly turned the phone, now facing the table with a blush creeping on his cheeks. 

"Someone is going to have fun, I see."

"Hey, don't stare at me like that, and it's not even my fault it's woosan's!" He pursed his lips in a somehow comical way, sipping again from the beverage to hide himself from the older, well aware that his answer sounded all but natural.

"What have they done again? Stole your phone while you were asleep to create you a Grindr account ?" Hongjoong gave him a pointed look, and Seonghwa grinned. " Well, it's true. That's actually something they would do. But you could have deleted the account by now. Why keeping it?" 

The younger took some time to answer, wondering whether or not he should talk about his love life to his friend who just happened to bury his soulmate weeks ago. However, Seonghwa told him that he could open up about it, so he breathed out nervously, continuing at the same time grasping at his drink.

"And, it just happened that I had a match with someone on there and just been talking nothing more."

The more he talked, the more he sank down on his seat, and Seonghwa found it cute how his little friend could manage to look even smaller. The subject didn't hurt him as much as he thought too. And which kind of friend would he be if he couldn't listen to his friend's love life. He was "officially" going back to his life tomorrow. He definitely has to be able to take this much if he wants to survive the upcoming days.

He hummed, averting his gaze outside of the cafe. He could see tons of people passing by behind the window, and inside, several pink heads were sipping and eating. He had accepted his fate, and now he could do this for the shorter.

"But I'm not sure yet if it's serious or not. It's been like a day or two, nothing to care about for now."

Seonghwa refrained from telling him that he was still blushing and that the choice of word proved he was expecting more. No, he simply dived in his cake, shaking his head in agreement, making Hongjoong sighed in relief.

The blue-haired male did the same, and they just ate silently until both of them were done.

The bell rang as they passed the door, escaping the warmth of the cafe. "So you want me to drop you off ?" The shorter smiled as an answer, and they joined the car together. "Tomorrow, want to eat lunch together?" The car unlocked, and both jumped in.

"As if this isn't what we've been doing all the time because none of us have friends in this company." The shorter rolled his eyes, completely aware that the taller was right. "Yeah, I know you don't need to remind me."

Both of them were loners.

On his side, Hongjoong was constantly alone in his office, mostly working on designs all day long. Most of his work could be done from home, but he enjoyed coming to what he called his "Utopia." The dull white and grey office quickly transformed into a cozy room, just for him to think again and again about what could be done for the various projects he had going on.

It wasn't that he didn't have a team, but only a few of them worked in the office, and you know what people say about "artist" being irritable. 

They are right!

He couldn't stand them at all. The few exceptions he got were some people of the producing team he sometimes met during meetings. Otherwise, there was no one in this office he enjoyed passing the time with. 

No one except Seonghwa.

On top of that, his jobs didn't really require interaction with other sections. Of course, the marketing team was on his back 24/7, but there weren't many face-to-face meetings. Hongjoong loved his job nonetheless, happy that he could leave from his art and from inside an entertainment company on top of all. Making the joint between both his passion and hobby: designing and music.

Well, what about Seonghwa? 

He just wasn't the type to speak and socialize. On top of it, the HR team wasn't as close as it seemed like. In total honesty, except for Hyuk that worked in the cubicle across from him, there weren't many people he talked to. Of course, there was Hongjoong, but could it be counted as work interaction when most of the time they met outside of work? He was doubtful about it - and so the author.

Thus the point earlier: none of them had friends they could hang out with for lunch. It was pure coincidence that they met, and only weeks later they happen to know that they both worked in the same company and the same office.

They buckled their seats, and Seonghwa started the engine leaving the car park. " I asked because I figured that maybe you might want to eat alone." The blue-haired male added quietly, looking outside the window. The older kept his gaze on the road and thought for a minute, but he still denied the younger's statement.

"Okay, then I'll bring lunch."

"No, I'll bring lunch. First, I don't want to be intoxicated, and second, you already spend a lot of money on me lately." Hongjoong scoffed at his friend's words, still unsure if he should be grateful that his friend cared about his wallet or offended by the comment on his cooking.

"Umph, okay, so since you're buying. I want hot and spicy rice cake and pork bulgogi with cheese, thank you." He flashed a fake smile and reported his attention back on his phone, probably typing away at that Grindr guy - that wasn’t important for now.

"What? Okay, we can eat beef bulgogi if you prefer it." He added when he lifted his gaze to look at the older and saw the disdain painted all over his face. 

"You're shameless, aren't you ?" The older voiced out, more like a statement snorting a bit. Focus now directed at the road, where the light became green, a half-amused half-choked emotion lighting up his eyes. 

"I don't care!" He added, laughing brightly, lifting the mood - even lifting the corner of Seonghwa's mouth.

**If it made Seonghwa smile, he really didn’t care.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies,
> 
> How have you been? I hope y'all are doing good right now. 
> 
> Long updates, I am really sorry, but since I don't want to cut the flow, I'd rather have small updates on Wattpad every week and real updates here.
> 
> So after the dark here is a ray of sun. I hope it'll last too. I'm sad baby had to go through this already.  
> What are your thoughts? Do you think it'll last? ^^
> 
> As always, have a nice day/week/month/year/life and see you in around 3 weeks  
> XOXO - b.ad.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovelies <3
> 
> I'm back! It's been so long, and I really wanted to come to find you sooner, but it's been a hell of a year and I needed to take care of my mind before falling into the commitment of writing an au again. I hope you don't mind me changing my main ship and fandom. I think I needed a clear break from what I have been doing to be able to move on. I'll try writing with BTS again soon but for now, let's welcome ATEEZ.
> 
> About this book, I will do updates on Friday maybe once or twice a month Friday, and every Saturday on Wattpad, meaning that you can read it pats by parts on Wattpad or wait for the whole chapter here on AO3.
> 
> To talk a bit about Seongjoong, I hope you enjoyed that first chapter even if it's a bit dark, but I guess it can't be helped since *redacted* died. I don't know if I managed to explain Seonghwa's feelings the way he really felt but I guess I'll have plenty of time ahead to choose the best words as I continue to write.
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @Bdlr_Dark_Angel to see what's going on and why not talk if you feel like it ^^  
> As always have a nice day/week/month/year/life!
> 
> b.ad.  
> XOXO


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